jumpingjacktrash: badger-shenanigans: deadlyprospitarianpeanuts: princeaspartame: omg what a good dad tho wow that is so cute also best dad award goes to this guy i teared up adn then the music started and i laughed the entire time. I JUST HAVE LOTS OF DAD FEELS OKAY poor dude. you’re stuck there all night, face it.
*Calling someone on the phone* Awe, they didn’t answer. My favorite kind of...– (via miriellesandthegiantpeach)
I wasn’t actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.– F. Scott Fitzgerald (via homo-sapiennn)
adele is pregnant
my mom: wat
my dad: wat
my best friend: wat
the dog: wat
anne frank: wat
the world: wat
the father: wat
American's lived together in harmony. Then...
me trying to read fanfiction
conversationparade: ‘she tripped, but a pair of strong arms grabbed hold of her from behind before she hit the floor’ ‘…she tilted her head back to look into his eyes, enjoying the feel of his warm arms wrapped around her torso’ ‘…her hands intertwined behind his neck as their lips met’ ‘…she wrapped her legs around his waist as
snap-and-loopin-masticating: in third grade i wrote an essay and used the word astonish and my teacher was shocked and i said “i learned it from pokemon!” and my picture was published in the school newspaper with the caption “SHE LEARNED IT FROM POKEMON”
toraten: “Stop…not there…” said the uke and so the seme stopped and said he respected him and his body so he would not go any further.
reptiliannes: hotforphysics: There are bags under my eyes. Bags of money haaha later peasants
Passed a real gentleman on the sidewalk tonight
Dude [into cellphone]: I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING JAW THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU. DO YOU HEAR ME? YOUR FUCKING JAW. I'M GONNA BREAK- hold on, give me a second. There's a woman walking by.
galifianafuck: seagirlowns: galifianafuck: ryenofthefence: galifianafuck: there’s a special place in hell for people who find the big bang theory extremely funny You mean intelligent people? no I think you do mean intelligent people. no i didnt
jaunepoi: do you ever random type like: galsimvaklrer and think no that doesn’t look right and so you erase it and try again laskdfjaasdf ah yes that’s how im feeling now
I’m reluctantly interested in love and helplessly interested in logic and yet...– Laura Marling (via creature-i-dont-know)
wetdreamsonlylastforanight: I hate when a band releases an album and you listen to it and pick out you favorite song and then the band releases that song as a single so when people ask what your favorite song is they automatically think you’re not “a real fan” because your favorite song is a single.